All I need is a lil bit of hope and faith.

Right, time check, its already midnight and I'm still awake. Well the truth is yes I'm excited but at the same time I'm afraid of what's in store. Moreover, I am so scared that the performance would turn out crappy. We haven't practiced anything at all and it looks like everyone's not into it. I mean I really don't blame them really. But, I feel that I've failed as one of the people in charge. Those who know me, would know that I always want the best and would want to put up something ambitious. And when I do it, I give my all. Truth be told, whenever I plan things, I always thought that things would go as plan, as what I visioned it to be. Being the stubborn me, would always brush off the what if(s). All I can say is that, I really hope everyone would give me their support and just give me their 101 percent. I really want to be there and entertain the kids and have the time of my life. Seeing them just saddens me and if my performance don't make it, I say, might as well I just stay here for the sake of the group.

It would be six days. This is my first time going off somewhere for more than three days. On my side, things did not went well. I got into a feud with my mum. I know, like I would want that to happen just before I got off. She said a few things that really hurt me and made me reflect on myself.

Ah wells, maybe I am just thinking too much about it, really. There are a whole lot of other things that is much more important than the performance right? Before I go, I would like to thank Khuzaifah whom have helped me find glass bottles and what not. Zul, Satheesh and XingMei for helping me with the song.

Oh, a few hours ago, I got a text from Bestfriend. How sweet of her right? Zue, I'll miss you so much and thank you for the real sweet text I'll keep that in mind.

To Syaz and Wani, I'll miss you guys. Take care, I'll give u guys a ring before I depart.

So long guys, I'll come back soon.

How to read palm?

We've come a long way haven't we?

Dear all, I love you to bits and pieces. We've been friends since secondary school and I believe we have come a long way. Through shits and all the drama, I guess we still stick together despite rain or shine. I know each and everyone of us have our own flaws and weaknesses, different taste in music or whatsoever, it's our faith that keep us together.
If we all still believe and trust each other, I say, we can go a long way.
I love you sevens, always have, always will. This year is our 5th anniversary right?
Yeah whatever how many years it may be. I'm proud we're still going on strong.

I can't wait till 2009 is over.

November's been kinda hectic. Handball's over and I must say it was quite an experience. Well, even though we did not win anything, I believe there's more to it than just winning. I am not so sure if I would still continue the sport because, Handball's not easy as it looks. It does take skills and stamina to be really good in it. I mean, other sports too but in Handball if your shots are real weak, the game's a no-no for you.

I'm leaving for Bintan in three more days. After Bintan, training for my upcoming malay drama competition will start. You see, I don't really have a life do I? After which, 2010 comes and there goes my life. I seriously have to focus on A's and really stop taking chances. I really hope after March I can fully concentrate on A's and just get it done and over with.

I can't believe I'm going to be in Year 3 already. Time passes so quickly doesn't it?

Sidetrack, mum just gave me rupiah money for the trip. For the first time, I'm having a few thousands in my wallet. Well, its 70 0000 rupiah. HAHA

I was glad that the last day's free and easy. I'm so going to take the opportunity to shop if I see anything cheap and good over at Bintan.

Meanwhile, I now need to go catch up on Gossip Girl. It's been a while since I last watch and I know I am like way behind.

Chow!

Cranky

There are a few things that I would like to say in this post. But I'm afraid that the things that I am going to say are going to make people feel offended and hurt. Thus, I shall just keep it to myself. All I can say is that, I am just so annoyed with a few people around me. I just cannot keep on going and put up a fake front no more. Maybe it's time, I be selfish.

Fuck you and you.

Yes you.

Can't seem to get enough of you.

Great! The holidays are burnt. Thanks to handball trainings, school stuffs and my cca. I don't know how many times I've said this but yes, I am a busy woman. Like what's new?

Ever since god knows when, but me and time management don't go together. Me being late for meetings, school and what not is driving me crazy and affecting a lot of people as well.
I think that it is about time I should start disciplining myself and make it a habit to be on time or early. It's becoming a bad habit. Real bad habit. I'm busy and disorganize, tsk.

I remembered I just cleaned up my room a few days back and now it's in a mess again. Great? I seriously need a personal assistant like fast or a boyfriend at least, someone that I could depend on? Any takers? This person should comply to my every need and want, seriously.

So, don't be surprise cause I think am going to flung my Chemistry. I can't do it anymore. Seriously. I know I am sabo-ing myself but I am going to take the chance and just screw it up. Am so going to start on a fresher page after all H1 exams are over. VEDO!

Like I said, watch me I am going to turn into someone new. Newer and better.

So, tomorrow am going to have my last handball training before the match on Saturday. In the morning I am going to have MCS meeting with my two other members. Yup, there's only four of us now. Pathetic? Tell me something I don't know already?

Next year, it's going to be a whole lot of agenda to do. But really, I have to cut down on my commitments by 75 percent and start mugging seriously. I can't keep on procrastinating no more. It's another of my bad habit.

Right, Bintan's coming soon and am not looking forward because I can't bring my beautiful butterfly there. Shucks.

Life's a stupid game and it's not fair.

Things that made me smile today.

1) Zubaidah's tumblr dated 10/11 with my huge picture, wishing me happy birthday with a quote saying,

You don’t always need a guy to make you happy. Sure a kiss goodnight from your boyfriend is better than one from your mom, and a cute text from him makes you happier then one from your friend. But remember, when he breaks your heart, your mom and your best friend will still tell you they love you.

You made me cry you know Zue?

2)Hand written by Syazana.

3)Each and everyone of them, I really love them to bits.

4) And the rest of these people,

Didi, Indra, Syazwan, Siva, Jerrold, Jahafar, Amal, Aini, Sab, Zul, Izyan, Vas, Vanessa, Mila, Faisal, Abg Nizam, Kak Asilah, Suryani, Atikah, Azimah, Firdaus Johari, Khuzaifah, Durga, Sathees, Melanie, Minchell, Angela, Khalisah, Aidil Alfian, Helmi, Atep, Shafiq, and whole lot of others who remembered my birthday today! Thank You :)

5)These four girls for being there for me through school, shits and boys. I love you babes.